I'll be home for Christmas...well, almost
I'm not sure how many of you have heard already, but I am coming home to the States. Peace Corps is not pulling the program completely, but they are giving people the option to leave. There are a number of ways a person can leave the Peace Corps: resignation (for example, just not getting on the plane to come), administrative separation (for breaking policies), medical separation (for medical conditions they cannot take care of in country), and early termination (just don't want to do it anymore). Until a few days ago, I thought my only option was early termination. However, the Safety and Security Officer for this region was able to explain to the volunteers and staff here that if a volunteer really is concerned about their safety, they shouldn't have to early terminate their service. She has given us the option of either doing a program transfer (where your name gets put on the waiting list to start the next Peace Corps program that becomes available) or interrupted service. I have decided to do an interrupted service. This means that while I'm not ready or sure if I want to another Peace Corps service immediately, I don't want to totally close the door to Peace Corps by early terminating. With an early termination, if you decide you want to do Peace Corps again, you have to wait one year, then start the application process from the very beginning. With an interrupted service, they recognize that your service was interrupted for reasons out of your control (aka suicide bombers). Any time within a year of leaving, if you decide you want to try Peace Corps again, you may, and are sort of considered an insider. You don't need to go through the whole application process, so it makes it a lot easier.
So, while I won't quite make it home for Christmas (my flight is Christmas night!), I should be back in good old Kansas by the 26th. Hope you all have a Merry Christmas, and hope to see you soon!
Thank you all so much!
Knowing I have so many people supporting me and thinking about me means so much to me right now. Thank you guys! Things have cooled a little for the moment, and I am ok. The meeting with the Safety and Security Officer was...well honestly I felt like I had been run over by a semitruck afterwards - it was that stressful. But she REALLY listened to us, so that's good. I have some major, major decisions to make right now though I'll let you know when I decide on things for certain.
How much can one take?
Some more updates:
On December 7, we got a text that the Regional Safety and Security Officer (I think for the East Asia region) is making a visit to Bangladesh. She texted later that day to say she will be in the country for two weeks, visiting various sites and listening to us. Also found out on that day that another one from our group is going home. That makes five now that have left pretty much for security reasons. I talked with a bunch of my friends here in country that day - an extremely rough day. On December 8, my host family told me that one of the schools in Sylhet had received a bomb threat and RAB (Rapid Action Battalion) was investigating. I texted our Safety and Security Officer about it, but she did not send out a text to everyone informing them. This makes me think maybe for the texts she’s sent out in the past about schools receiving bomb threats, maybe those are only ones where PCVs are stationed? Or maybe the office finally realized that telling us about every thing that happens really wears you down! Also on December 8, two explosions happened in Netrakona, where two PCVs live. The blasts happened near the Udichi Office (a cultural academy). According to PC, 35 were injured and 5 were killed, including the suicide bomber. (I think the number has gone up now, but I'm not sure to what.) The PCVs in Netrakona were put on Standfast (meaning they are to stay inside their homes) and everyone else is still on Alert. Those PCVs have since been consolidated to Dhaka. Also got a message that day that there were rumors of bombing in Noga and Nilfamari. PCVs there (don’t know who or how many) are ok. We later got a message asking all PCVs to contact their wardens so that everyone could be accounted for and ok. Apparently a newspaper vendor in a small city near here told the PCVs there that Bush is to blame for all this. In another city in this area, the marketplace has been absolutely empty (which never happens!), and that a vegetable man told his son not to go anywhere because it is too dangerous. Later, we got a follow-up text on the Netrakona bombing - 9:20am a small explosion happened near Udichi, a crowd gathered, then at 10:25 suicide bombers entered the crowd and detonated. 45 were injured and 7 killed, including a bomber. Another text on Dec 8, Nilphamari bomb rumor not true. In upazilla (small village) near Nogaon, there was an explosion night of Dec 7. Rumor was that the bomber was riding a rickshaw and the bomb detonated early. More news, Small explosion in Nilphamari: a boy was injured exploding a cocktail while he was playing with it without knowing what it was. Also Dec 8, bombs detonated in an upazilla in Meherpur district (west of Kustia). No PCVs in that district. I called a good friend here to discuss things and see how she was doing. She and I are both thinking very similar things right now - that we REALLY want to stay, but are not willing to take more risks than we need to. We are both really stubborn and don’t want to quit, but are coming to realize that leaving now would not be quitting. It would not be failing. She said one of her friends pointed out that the only reason she feels like leaving now would be quitting is because she came here thinking she would definitely stay for two years. However, if she had come with a timeline unspecified, it would be a lot easier to say, hey, I’ve put in 4 good months and now it’s time for me to go. I also called another friend from the group that came here one year ago to see how her group is feeling. I wanted to know if our group is just really overreacting to all of this or what. She said that most of them are pretty anxious, but not really as much as us newcomers. She really didn’t seem terribly concerned. She also lives in a very small town way out of the way from anything that’s happened so far. I think anyone who isn't concerned about their safety right now is fooling themselves, really. A lot of us have the same concerns right now - this is not what we signed up for. We signed up for PEACE Corps. I have not decided on anything at this point, but I've been talking with a lot of people and doing a ton of thinking. Like I said, I don't WANT to leave, but if I feel like staying is making compromises to my safety, then that really isn't very smart.
Tomorrow, the regional security officer, our program manager, and our safety and security officer are planning on coming to the city. They want to meet with all the PCVs in this region. I will be very interested to hear what they have to say, and I'm very much looking forward to being able to voice all these concerns and questions.
Thanks to all of you you have called or written. It really means a lot to me to know that I have so many people supporting me in whatever I do. Thank you!
Tough times
So things have been pretty rough lately. I'm not sure how much national attention this is getting, but there have been bombings and threats of bombings happening all over the country recently. On November 29, improvised bombs exploded in Gazipur near the courthouse there, killing I think 9 people. On December 1, another bomb in Gazipur exploded near the District Commissioner’s office, killing one. The PCVs in Gazipur were consolidated to Dhaka quickly thereafter. Peace Corps put us all on Alert stage, which is the lowest level of security alert. Basically it means that we should keep our eyes and ears open and not do anything stupid, like go to the government buildings in our area. Everyone began getting worried and thinking that we may have to be consolidated. On December 2, a grenade was thrown at the major’s office in Sylhet. It did not detonate for some reason, but apparently a few people were injured when everyone rushed to evacuate the area. On December 3, a bomb was found in a government office in Khulna and a small village near Shirajgonj. I’m not sure if they exploded, but I didn’t hear of any injuries. Also on December 3, Khulna Zilla School and Hobigonj Government Boys School received bomb threat letters. In protest to the grenade in Sylhet, a local hartal for Sylhet only was called for December 4. I stayed out of the center of town, so I didn’t see anything, but I heard there were big protests in the city center. On December 4 (or 3?) Rajbari School received a bomb threat. Police swept the school but I don’t think they actually found anything. December 4 a bomb was found in the market at Kurigram, a very small village, near a mosque. On the night of (I think) December 3, a bomb was found under an empty bus in Gabtoli, Dhaka, but it did not blast. Since this all started, we have been getting five or more text messages a day, usually in the late evening, from our Safety and Security Officer. It’s gotten to the point where we all dread the sound of receiving a message on my phone because you never know what more bad news it is going to bring. Over the weekend, my site mate went to Dhaka and met with our administrative officer (who has taken over some of the safety and security responsibilities). They came up with a plan for each of the divisions to report to each other and relate all of their questions and concerns each day to their wardens, then the wardens can talk to our Security Officer every couple of days, or as needed. The people in my division have definitely had a lot of questions and concerns, so I talked to our administrative officer that day. It was somewhat comforting to talk to him about some things, but in a way also not really. I met later that evening with Craig and Nick to discuss how to go about things. Hearing Craig’s impressions of how the office is dealing with things did not help me feel any better. Basically the office's position is that it is an individual decision about what to do in this kind of situation (essentially whether to leave or not). The admin officer started out our discussion with a little “philosophy” saying that we are all adults and have individual control over everything we do. We must make our own decisions, and we try to use the resources around us to make these decisions. For us, our resources are other PCVs, staff, the US Embassy, our communities here, as well as friends and relatives in the US. So based on all the info we gather from all these resources, we have to make the best decisions we can. But we also have to accept that there is a certain degree of unknowable. He also pointed out that it is an individual choice on whether it is worth it (to stay here and put yourself at risk) and if you decide it isn’t worth it, can you make it worth it? If not, then well…
Basically there are two things which would definitely mean PC pulling its program. The first is if there was a regional outbreak (meaning India, Nepal, Thailand, Burma, and Bangladesh) of Avian Flu spreading person to person. The second is a very obvious security issue – if someone drove a truck bomb into the US Embassy and sent a list of Americans to be killed. To me these answers are unacceptable because they are so obvious. I, and many other volunteers, just want to know when to draw the line. When the risk become too much?
I know there IS a risk in being a PCV, and many of the risks were covered during our pre-service training. We covered such risks as health, theft, accidents, assault, sexual assault, etc. However, I also don’t feel like I was prepared for or warned that the threat of terrorists and bombs. This is not the military, and if someone is really willing to lay down their life for their country, there are certainly other programs to do it with. Before I came to Bangladesh, I decided (mostly as regards to sexual assault, since that was at the top of my list of worries beforehand) that I was NOT willing to risk my life, and if it ever got to the point where I felt endangered, I would leave. But again, where do you draw the line? I know that anywhere you go in the world is dangerous.
Anyway, these are my thoughts at the moment. For now, things aren't really THAT bad, so I am going to stick with it some more and see how things go. I'd really appreciate everyone's thoughts, ideas, support, questions, and encouragement, because I sure do need it right now! Thank you...
My host mother helps me wrap the sari she gave me for the swearing-in ceremony
